During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He went up to the bartender and said, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the house a round of drinks."
The bartender said, "That's fine, but we're in the middle of the Depression, so I'll need to see some money first." The guy pulled out a huge wad of bills and set them on the bar. The bartender can't believe what he's seeing. "Where did you get all that money?" asked the bartender. "I'm a professional gambler," replied the man. The bartender said, "There's no such thing! I mean, your odds are fifty-fifty at best, right?"
"Well, I only bet on sure things," said the guy."Like what?" asked the bartender."Well, for example, I'll bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye," he said.The bartender thought about it. "Okay," he said.So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and bit it. "Aw, you screwed me," said the bartender, and paid the guy his $50.
"I'll give you another chance. I'll bet you another fifty dollars that I can bite my left eye," said the stranger.The bartender thought again and said, "Well, I know you're not blind, I mean, I watched you walk in here. I'll take that bet." So, the guy pulled out his false teeth and bit his left eye."Aw, you screwed me again!" protested the bartender."That's how I win so much money, bartender.
I'll just take a bottle of your best scotch in lieu of the fifty dollars," said the man.With that, the guy went to the back room and spent the better part of the night playing cards with some of the locals. After many hours of drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the bar. Drunk as a skunk, he said, "Bartender, I'll give you one last chance. I'll bet you five hundred dollars that I can stand on this bar on one foot and piss into that whiskey bottle on that shelf behind you without spilling a drop."
The bartender once again pondered the bet. The guy couldn't even stand up straight on two feet, much less one. "Okay, you're on," he said.
The guy climbed up on the bar, stood on one leg, and began pissing all over the place. He hit the bar, the bartender, himself, but not a drop made it into the whiskey bottle.The bartender was ecstatic. Laughiing, the bartender said, "Hey pal, you owe me five hundred dollars!"The guy climbed down off the bar and said, "That's okay. I just bet each of the guys in the card room a thousand bucks each that I could piss all over you and the bar and still make you laugh!"
cheers.
8:59 pm
TO ALL PEOPLE WHO ARE READING THIS POST. UNLESS YOU ARE: Caiyun, Cr, Boss, Guowei, Jingquan, Jin How, or whoever who actually tags with their real name at the tagboard, please.go.and.tag.with.your.real.damn.name.
I mean, unless your real name is for example, Lalalax Tan Bo Ji, or Dot Lin Hum Ji ,
TAG WITH YOUR ACTUAL, REAL, PAK-ING, NAME.
thank you.
8:13 pm
Monday, July 14, 2008
Humour!
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
What was Beethoven doing when he was dugged out from his grave? Ans: Decomposing.
What do you call a wooden car? Ans: Wooden Move (Wouldn't move)
"A hamburger and fries," a man orders.
"Me too," says the ostrich sitting beside him.
"That'll be $9.40," the waitress says. The man reaches into his shirt pocket and hands her the exact change.
They return the next day. Both order a steak and again the man pays with exact change.
"How do you do that?" the waitress asks.
"A genie granted me two wishes," explains the man. "My first was that I'd always have the right amount of money to pay for anything."
"Brilliant! But what's with that ostrich?"
"My second wish was for an exotic chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say."
6:46 pm
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Source A: Guowei will not be attending Friday's CO practice. Source B: Wanqi would most probably not be attending Friday's CO practice.
What does Source A and Source B tells you about CO practice this friday?
I can infer from both sources that Guowei and Wanqi will not be attending CO practice this friday. This is evident when both sources A and B states that "...not be attending Friday's practice". This means that TMSCO this friday would likely be GGxx.
- L3/5
How are Source A and Source B different?
Source A is certain towards the stand while Source B has an uncertainty towards the stand. Source A states "...will not..." while Source B states "...would not...".
Ahhh crap, just note that I, Seah Guo Wei of Secondary 3/4, 2 Bedok Reservoir View The Clearwater #15-...la di da di...Will not be attending CO this friday.
Have fun!
11:05 pm
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Ha Ha Thanks for the birthday song, I was so touch, My wish is to let CO get a gold next syf. Your birthday also must give one wish to CO okay. Haz Happy birthday to one and all.LOLS btw, thanks and i will remember in heart, A... 1 request, can the lower sec pls forgot wat i did or say during assembly. PLS
wanqi
11:14 pm
HAPPY BIRTHDAY WANQI!!!
12:00 am
Monday, July 07, 2008
Hoon Jia Jia • Manager, Music II • National Arts Council • 140 Hill Street #03-01, MICA Building, Singapore 179369 Tel: 65-67464622 DID: 65-68379823 Fax: 65-68373017
NAC is committed to nurturing the arts and making it an integral part of the lives of Singaporeans. Check out http://www.nac.gov.sg/ for more details.
Register now to take part in the National Chinese Music Competition 2008! Visit http://www.nac.gov.sg/ncmc for more information.
SCO NEWSLETTER
11:40 am
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Jokes jokes and more jokes!
A lawyer drives through a stop sign and gets pulled over by a policeman. He thinks that he's clever than the officer and decides to talk his way out of a fine.
"Show me your license and registration," says the policeman. "What for?" says the lawyer.
"You didn't stop at the stop sign."
"I slowed down and no-one was coming."
"You still didn't come to a complete stop."
"What's the difference?"
"The difference is you have to come to a complete stop, that's the law."
"If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop," says the lawyer, "I'll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go."
"Get out of the vehicle, please, sir," says the policeman.
The solicitor gets out and the policeman starts beating the hell out of him with his truncheon. "Do you want me to stop?" asks the cop, "or just slow down?"
Enjoy :)
7:18 pm
THE ORCHESTRA
Temasek Secondary Chinese Orchestra (TMSCO) was established in the 2000.
It expanded from a plucked string ensemble to a full-fledged orchestra in the year 2001.
Under the baton of Mr Cheng Chung Hsien, TMSCO enjoyed a successful flight achieving promising results in the SYF Central Judging between April 2002 to September 2008.
Now having Mr Liu Bin leading this army, TMSCO will definitely continue to strive for excellence and is determined to scale to even greater heights.
The orchestra now consists of over 90 enthusiastic members, with us six professional instructors.